Keeping Him Afloat
by Esca Madeline
Summary: Petey wasn't someone who was destined to have many friends.


Disclaimer: Rockstar owns Bully. I'm just a fan.

A/N: Spoilers ahead. If you have not finished the game, you have been warned.

I'm not as proud with my work on this fic as I am with my other stories. This story has a different format from my other drabbles. This fic also focuses more on Petey. I've always thought that Petey was younger than Jimmy, and also very intelligent. (He's acquainted with the Nerds. That's a sign that Pete's a smart boy.) Since his character is hinted to be homosexual/bisexual throughout the game, there is very light, implied slash ahead.

I'd recommend reading _Clockwork_ and _He Should Have Known_ before reading this.

**Episode: Keeping Him Afloat**

Petey wasn't someone who was destined to have many friends.

It wasn't as if he wanted to be alone. He was a human being, and the laws of nature demanded that he should befriend other human beings, so he always, _always_ felt a strange, haunting desire to be around others. However, the laws of nature had not counted on his largest vice—his shyness.

His _reluctance _to mingle had always been his biggest obstacle to the ways of…well, mingling. When he had first arrived at Bullworth Academy, he had spent much of his days either in his room, or in his scheduled class. (It hadn't taken him long to realize that he loved art class with a passion. Having a nice, compassionate teacher such as Ms. Philips really had a way of bringing out the artist in him.) This course of action however, though it offered him a false security, had tragically labeled him as a reclusive "hobbit," and had made him an outcast.

He hadn't realized this until it was too late.

By the time Petey had finally mustered up the courage to venture onto school grounds, no one had even the slightest interest in him, besides the Bullies, who considered him their new punching bag. No one wanted to look at him, no one wanted to talk to him, no one even wanted to know his name. The separation, the feeling of an invisible wall between him and others…the sheer loneliness he felt from being surrounded by people he couldn't _talk_ to had almost been enough to send him scurrying back to his room, so that he could bury his face into his pillows and cry.

Almost.

Well, he _had_ cried into his pillows, but only during the nights, and only after curfew. He had told himself that he wouldn't hide in his room anymore. Since hiding in the dorm only made people think he was reclusive, he knew that he had to find somewhere new to hide, preferably a place where it was safe from the Bullies, while still open enough to hang out with decent people. There had been several places, but…

"_And we're back! For those of you at home who've just turned on the TV, I'm Matt Shearson—" _

"—_and I'm Robert Benson!"_

"_Don't be a reporter hog, man. Anyway folks, it looks like it's time for the_ _Men's 200 meter swim relay!" _

Petey lowered the volume on the television set. It was an unnecessary precaution, for the dorm was mostly empty, but still…he didn't want to get caught watching _this_ again. The only other people who he knew were interested in watching other men swim were the Jocks, and they all had football practice at this hour.

A part of him berated himself for acting so guilt-ridden, so ashamed. These feelings were…supposedly natural. These feelings weren't something he could just control. Damn it, he should be able to watch this without worry. In fact, he should be watching this with friends! He was, after all, Head Boy! He was entitled to respect!

False respect, anyway.

"_Uh oh, Logan's falling behind on the freestyle…it looks like Markinson's getting the best of him, eh Robert?_"

"_Yup…boy, Markinson's really gotten faster since the last time I saw him. It looks as if he could break a record, Matt!_"

He sighed. Not being able to share his interests with anyone…that kind of sucked. But then again, there were very few people Petey knew who wouldn't laugh at him for said interests. After he had officially been labeled the "School Weirdo," he had been unable to get respect from any student clique, for both practical and impractical reasons. He had learned these reasons during his search for a new hiding place/hangout, and each discovery had depressed him more than the last.

First off, the Bullies and the parking lot. The Bullies had been one of the cliques that made his first year a living nightmare. They chased him constantly, almost always forcing him to hide in lockers and trashcans when a Prefect wasn't nearby. They had been the clique that had made him the most miserable—at the time, he thought that Hell would freeze over before they'd even consider giving him up as their "Beat'em up" toy.

The Jocks and the football field. Heh. The Jocks would _never_ accept him, not back then, and not even now. Despite watching swimming events on television, Petey knew that in reality, he wasn't talented at swimming. Put him in water and he'd sink like a rock straight to the bottom. There had also been the option of joining the football team…yeah, right! With his girly physique, he'd be flattened by the first person who tackled him!

The Greasers and the Auto Shop. Another no-no. Sure, he had a bike. Sure, he knew how to ride it. But that was it. Aside from knowing which foot went into which pedal, he knew nothing about how to fix bikes. He had never even taken one class of Auto Shop, which was pretty much the _only_ class the Greasers attended on a regular basis. (Petey had actually exchanged Auto Shop for Home Economics. No matter how dorky that move was, there was no way he was going to depend on Edna's cooking. He'd make his own meals, or die starving.)

The Preps and Harrington House. That was one clique that Petey couldn't get into, and personally didn't want to get into. There had been two reasons for this, the first being that he didn't like the Preps at all. What a bunch of snobby egomaniacs! They had their own dorm, they had their own line of clothing, they had their own everything! They treated those of lower class as if they were nothing more than pond scum. For that reason alone, Petey stayed away from them. But, even if he _did _want to be a Preppie, he wasn't rich enough to be one. _This_ he could blame on someone else, his middle-class father.

Oh, why did his father have to be a boring old librarian? Why couldn't his old man have a more interesting career, like a bank robber, or a corrupt corporate lawyer?

"_And he's done it! Markinson's broken the record! Boy, look at that smile, Matt!_"

Jerking himself back to the present, Petey stared at the victorious swimmer with a look of awe. His jaw dropped slightly as he studied the man's features. This Markinson was handsome, in a macho kind of way …ACK! Petey shook his head fiercely. He couldn't be thinking _those_ thoughts now!

"_That's a real winner there! Look at those women scream! How about a close up?_"

There had been one clique left for him. This clique had already sort-of-kind-of respected him, because Petey was a year ahead in studies for his age group. They valued his intelligence enough to converse with him…but not enough to like him. Yes, he was talking about the Nerds, and their library.

For a while, he had seriously considered joining the Nerds. It wasn't because he liked them. He didn't like the Astronomy Club vests. (He had this thing against wearing green.) He didn't like playing Grottos and Gremlins. (Personally, that game bored the life out of him.) In fact, he didn't even like half the people in the Nerd clique. However, this was the only group of people he could consider as "acquaintances" and frankly, he liked the library. So quiet, so peaceful. He had almost joined them…

…and then he had met Gary and Jimmy.

"_Well, after this commercial, it'll be time for the Men's 50 meter medley. Maybe Logan can catch up yet, Matt!_"

"_You sound optimistic…do you know something that I don't?_"

Suddenly, the door to the Boys' Dorm slammed open. Petey tore his eyes away from the television set, only to see a very, VERY pissed off Jimmy heading in his direction. Petey paled slightly—Jimmy's eyes were narrowed, his jaw was clenched, and his hands were balled into tight fists.

Oh boy. This did _not_ look good.

"Goddamn him!" Jimmy roared, stomping over to the poker table and kicking it over. "Why is it that whenever I try to be a good guy, I just end up feeling like someone crapped in my bed ten times? WHY?" Jimmy smashed his foot clear through a wooden chair, sending splinters flying all over the room.

Geez! Jimmy didn't know his own strength anymore! Petey, who had managed to avoid getting splintered, gulped nervously. "Y-you talked to Gary again, didn't you?"

"FUCK GARY!"

"But—"

"I SAID FUCK HIM!"

"…"

Jimmy ranted and raved (and destroyed more dorm property) for a few more minutes, before he finally, _finally_ calmed down. He stood still, breathing heavily while staring at the floor and the remaining bits of debris that somehow managed to escape his wrath. Petey, though he was now terrified of his friend's extreme mood swings, gulped down his fear and said in a small, quiet voice, "J-jimmy…just…sit down. Please…"

The older boy said nothing. For a moment, Petey thought that Jimmy was going to stomp out of the dorm and beat someone up, like he usually did when he was pissed off at something. Today however, instead of venting out his anger in his usual delinquent-like manner, Jimmy instead took a deep breath and walked over to Petey, taking a seat next to him.

For a while, the room was silent, minus the commentary made by the sports announcers.

"_I don't know, Robert. Logan's been having a losing streak lately. He's lost the last four meets in a row…what makes you think he can bounce back?_"

"Tell me something, Pete."

"Hmm?" Petey turned to Jimmy with a curious (and frankly, relieved) stare. "What is it?"

"You…you knew Gary before I did, right?"

_Ah_. Petey shifted uncomfortably in his seat. So Jimmy _did_ talk to Gary after all. "Yeah. We were…uh…_friends_ for a couple of months before you came. So?"

"So…"

"So what?"

"Was he always an asshole? I mean, even on his meds, he's still the same old jerk he always was, minus the whole I'm-Going-To-Take-Over-The-School obsession."

Petey found himself smiling at the not-too-funny joke, before he sighed. "Well, being an uncaring jerk was always part of Gary's package. I mean, he was known as a psychopath long before you came around. Even when he and I first met…" Petey faltered off. The conversation was starting to get personal.

That unfinished sentence, however, had perked Jimmy's interest. "Yeah? What happened when you two met?"

Silence. Then, a small, "Nothing. Nothing happened."

"Petey…"

"It's not that I thought he was cool or anything, okay?" Petey blurted out, his feelings of discomfort growing by the second. "It's just that I didn't have anyone to talk to, and he was still taking his pills at the time, so he seemed a little more…eh…" Honestly, Petey had no idea how to describe the medicated version of Gary. _Nicer_ just wasn't a word he could associate with someone like that.

Jimmy obviously didn't have a word for the medicated version of Gary either, for he continued on to other matters. "Well, I just can't understand it. You're an okay guy Pete, even if you _are_ a little dorky. How'd you stay pals with him for so long? How'd you put up with his shit?"

"What shit? Be more specific."

"Petey!"

"Okay, okay." Petey laced his fingers together and placed his hands on his lap, twiddling his thumbs. He was silent for a while, before he spoke. "He wasn't…he wasn't always a bad guy. I remember, when we first became friends…I found him sitting outside the school. He was having a bad reaction to his meds…"

"He always has a bad reaction to his meds," Jimmy cut in, his voice suddenly lower, angrier. "Every time I went to see him at the Wacky Shack, he was always acting as if the pills were killing him."

"Yeah, well maybe they were. Jimmy, he was shaking and mumbling to himself, and…I think he was on the verge of crying."

Now that surprised Jimmy. "That loser can cry?" he asked, one brow raised.

"Oh, come on," Petey protested. "Gary's still human, even if he isn't a very nice guy."

"Pft. Whatever you say, Pete."

"He also had mood swings."

"Okay, now you're creeping me out. Boys aren't supposed to have mood swings."

"Well he did! When I asked him what was wrong, he told me to go away, and not in a polite way. Then, when I was about to leave, he stopped me and asked why I cared, since I was practically a nobody in school..." Petey stopped, and frowned. "Even back then, he couldn't say one sentence to me without insulting me."

"So he still treated you like crap?" Jimmy pressed on, as if he was digging for something specific. "He still pushed you around, making fun of you and stuff?"

At this, Petey found himself blushing. "Jimmy…"

"Well? Tell me!"

"...well, he did make fun of me," Petey admitted, in a very soft voice. "But it didn't become intense until much later." He hoped Jimmy wouldn't push on, and would just leave it at that. Of course, Jimmy pushed on. Damn his unluckiness.

"How much later?" Jimmy asked.

"…we were talking one day…"

"Yeah?"

"…and I kind of revealed something very personal. I didn't actually tell him, but he figured it out on his own…"

"Oh really?" Jimmy propped one elbow against the arm rest of the couch and gave Petey an inquisitive look. "What was it?"

Petey squirmed under Jimmy's stare. "Please don't make me tell you."

"What? So you tell Gary but not me? I thought we were friends!"

"It's personal!" Petey explained, trying not to blush and failing.

Jimmy snorted. "You sound like Earnest when he's reading dirty magazines." The older boy frowned for a moment, before his eyes widened. "Oh, I get it! You have a secret collection of illegal porn somewhere, don't you? Gary found out, and was using this knowledge to blackmail you!"

"N-no!" Petey yelped, horrified.

"Damn. I would have really liked to see some illegal porn."

"Anyway," Petey continued, not really wanting to talk about sexual matters, "that was my relationship with Gary in a nutshell. He made fun of me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week…and as long as I put up with it, I could hang around him, and be his friend. I just had to sit there and take it, and I'd never be alone."

Silence. Jimmy stared at Petey for a long moment, before he let out a low whistle. "Damn. You took all that just because you didn't want to be by yourself?"

_Yes_, Petey thought. _I let Gary torment me because I wanted someone to be with. I was THAT desperate for a friend._ "Does it matter anymore? You're my friend now."

"Yeah, about that. I just wanted to let you know, I've been hanging around this Maria chick lately, and I don't think we can hang out as much anymore…"

Petey's heart literally broke in two. "_WHAT_?"

"Hey, I'm messing with ya! Again!" Jimmy laughed, clapping Petey hard on the back as the younger boy tried not to strangle Jimmy with his bare hands. (Not that he would succeed, but he could try, couldn't he?)

"T-that's not funny, Jimmy."

"Ah, yes it is. I should videotape these moments, they're priceless!"

"Why'd you want to know about Gary, anyway?" Petey asked, sniffing back the tear that threatened to fall.

Jimmy's smile lessened slightly. "I was just asking."

"Oh."

"_And they're off! Well, well, well! It seems that Logan is pulling ahead on the medley! He may actually win if he keeps up that pace!_"

"Ugh," Jimmy groaned. "Swimming. I can't take this." He stood up and headed out of the dorm.

"Hey, Jimmy!" Petey called out. "Where are you going? T-the women's races are coming up, you know!" Actually, the women's races had already finished, but Petey just wanted his only true friend to sit next to him for an hour…

"I'm gonna go see the Preps. Now that Derby's graduating, I have to see who's gonna take his place. I'll see you at dinner, okay?"

Disappointment set in deep, but Jimmy completely missed the look of sadness on Petey's face. "Whatever, Jimmy. I'll see you later." Sadly, Petey turned his gaze back to the television set and listened as Jimmy walked out of the dorm, this time letting the door shut quietly behind him.

_Click_.

Well, that was typical old Jimmy. Always leaving him behind. Always walking off to one of the other cliques whenever he felt bored, or frustrated. Petey turned off the TV, no longer in the mood to watch swimming. Really, was it that hard? Was it that hard for Jimmy to just—just _appreciate_ him once in a while?

Of course it was. Jimmy Hopkins was King of the school. Why should he hang out with a squirt like Petey? All the younger boy ever did was tell Jimmy all that he needed to know about the school factions, and whatnot.

It hurt. It shouldn't have bothered Petey this much, because he was always left behind on everything.

But it hurt.

In both of his long-lasting friendships, the one with Gary and the one with Jimmy, he always felt hurt, always _got_ hurt. Gary always hurt him because Gary was an unemotional sadist, who delighted in causing him pain. Petey couldn't remember how many times the snake had victimized him. Always poking fun at him, always teasing him for his sexuality, always blackmailing him, always torturing him, always twisting him to do unimaginable deeds…

Frankly, Petey didn't _want_ to remember what went on between him and Gary.

That was why he was a bit clingy to Jimmy. Yes, he admitted it! He wanted Jimmy all to himself, if only for one day! He wanted Jimmy to act like a goddamn friend for once. He wanted Jimmy to say, "Hey Petey! You wanna come along to town with me?" or "I'm gonna go kick the Greasers asses…come and help me out!" Sure, Petey knew he sucked as a fighter, but he could help out in other ways!

The fact was…he loved Jimmy. Even if Jimmy acted like a total jerk to him sometimes, and even if Jimmy called him a dork, Jimmy was still the only one who genuinely looked out for him. When the Jocks had pushed him around, Jimmy was the only one who stood up for him, and had even gotten mad enough to target them and take over the clique. Also, Petey had found out (very discreetly from Sheldon, the only boy who was naïve enough to think that Dr. Crabblesnitch was actually a _nice_ guy) that it was in fact Jimmy who had suggested to Crabblesnitch that he should be made Head Boy.

Of course, Jimmy could never find out that he _loved_ him. One, because Petey wasn't sure if Jimmy was like _that_, and two…he was afraid. Even if their friendship was a bit lacking, it was the only thing Petey could hold onto. It was the only thing keeping him afloat from despair and loneliness.

He would wait. After all, he and Jimmy still had a few more years left in Bullworth Academy.

"Hey Petey!" Algie greeted as he shuffled into the room. "I just came by to pick up some stuff—HOLY MONKFISH! What happened to all the tables and chairs?"

------

**I think this drabble reeks. Honestly, Petey was the hardest character to write for me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but…**

**This is the last drabble I've planned for. But, if you guys have requests on specific characters or on certain events of the game that wasn't explained clearly, tell me and I'll try to write about them. After all, this is a very good game…**

**(And if you know of other Bully fics, please tell me. I want to read them too!)**


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